i (almost) got mugged! ...kinda

the long awaited day
has finally arrived

no more transit.

in celebration of this monumental moment
i'd like to share
an experience
bestowed upon to me
by the lovely people of Translink

i can't even remember when this happened
but everytime i think of it
my face contorts itself into an expression
part disbelief
part amusement
part disgust

like every other story of mine in the last four years
this one begins in the same way:

so, i was like on the bus, right?
i'm sitting there
pretending to be preoccupied with some mundane paper im holding
just to avoid making eye contact with anyone
should any of them break the social norm
and actually start talking to me
at 730 in the morning

i should mention
i was sitting in the back-ish
where the seats inconveniently face one another
providing with you those horrible moments
where you
and the person sitting directly in front of you
look up at simultaneously
to share an awkward point in time
where you're looking at one another

so, as i paused to take relief from the boredom of this paper
i look up
and
this woman looks at me
motions to me, as if she wants to talk to me
i, niavely, take out my earphones
to hear her request:

do you have a cell phone?

i respond with a smile
glad to be of assistance
"yeah, do you need to use it?"

and she looks at me
straight in the eye
"yeah, can i have it?"

i must've heard her incorrectly
"you mean you want to use it? like, borrow it for a moment"

with the utmost seriousness
"no, i mean, can i have it?"

i'm obviously not understanding the situation
"you want my phone? to keep?"

she's getting impatient with me
as if i'm supposed to be used to being mugged politely
"yeah... that's what i mean"

i'm too scared to be offended
"....but why? why do you want my phone"

as matter of factly as possible
"i dont have one, and i need to call my boyfriend"

i dont know how to respond
"i.. uh.. i don't feel comfortable giving you my phone"

"why not?"

"because it's mine"

and since i'm still nice
i add
"but you can use it to call your boyfriend if you promise to give it back"

and you know what the woman says to me
"no thanks."

and the most predictable part of the situation is
my fellow bus people
are watching this ping-pong conversation
and don't say a thing

people! i'm being mugged!
they're sitting there
soaking up this story
that i'm sure was circulated among their friends
received plenty of laughs and i-cant-believe-thats
but no one came to my rescue

so i sat the rest of my ride
feeling this woman's eyes burning holes into me

and you know what?
i actually felt bad!
starting thinking... maybe she can't afford one, maybe i should've just given it and told my parents it was stolen...

that's what transit does to you
it sucks you into its world of... weird.

but i'll miss it
i'll miss the stories it gave me.